I never made it to Girl Scouts (Brownies, represent!), but I do recall that patches, along with Kumbaya and craft fairs, were all the rage. In fact, their mantra should have been “make new friends, but cut a beezy for a badge.” But who really cares if we can camp together, peddle cookies outside a grocery store, or get high on life anyway? I think these Nerd Merit Badges are much more commendable, and no doubt I’ve diligently earned the “Family Tech Support” and “Inbox Zero” varieties. Unfortunately, the “Printer Hero” badge is the only one that comes with these super fresh letterpress backs from Dolce Press, since a regular copy job couldn’t embody “the heroic vanquishment of these godawful beige-colored killers of our souls.” Hell to the yes, I’ll take one of each please.